Dhoop Mein Chaaya Jaise,
Pyaas Mein Dariya Jaise,
Tan Mein Jeevan Jaise,
Man Mein Darpan Jaise,
Haath Duaaon Waale Roshan Kare Ujaale,
Phool Pe Jaise Shabnam, Saans Mein Jaise Sargam,
Prem Ki Moorat Daya Ki Surat ,
Aise Aur Kahaan Hai ,Jaisi Meri Maa Hai...
Jab Bhi Andhera Cha Jaye
Woh Deepak Ban Jaaye ,
Jab Ik Akeli Raat Sataye,
Woh Sapna Ban Jaaye,
Andar Neer Bahaye ,
Baahar Se Muskaye,
Kaaya Woh Paavan Si,Mathura-Vrindavan Jaisi,
Jiske Darshan Mein Ho Bhagwan ,
Aisi Aur Kahaan Hai,Jaisi Meri Maa Hai....
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
DON’T MARRY A SOFTWARE GAL Never marry a..
Never marry a “TESTING” girl since she always DOUBTS U .
Never marry a “DATABASE” girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.
Never marry a “C” girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.
Never marry a “C++” girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.
Never marry a “JAVA” girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
Never marry a “VB” girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.
Never marry a “UNIX” girl ,she always dump u with a CORE.
Never marry a “PASCAL” girl ,she always scolds u as RASCAL.
Never marry a “COBOL” girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.
Never marry a “NETWORK” girl since she may be very good in SHOOTING PROBLEMS.
Conclusion: Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY!
Never marry a “DATABASE” girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.
Never marry a “C” girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.
Never marry a “C++” girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.
Never marry a “JAVA” girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
Never marry a “VB” girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.
Never marry a “UNIX” girl ,she always dump u with a CORE.
Never marry a “PASCAL” girl ,she always scolds u as RASCAL.
Never marry a “COBOL” girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.
Never marry a “NETWORK” girl since she may be very good in SHOOTING PROBLEMS.
Conclusion: Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY!
Wedding Query….. (SQL Style) CREATE..
CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
BrideGroom Male (25),
Bride Female(20) AS
BEGIN
SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = ‘Millionaire’ AND Count(Car) > 10 AND
HouseStatus = ‘ThreeStoreyed’
AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having
Brothers = Null AND Sisters = Null
SELECT Gold, Cash, Car, BankBalance FROM FatherInLaw UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal =
MyBal + FatherInLawBal UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents +
FatherInLawGold INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES (’BMW’) END GO
Then the Bride writes the below query:
DROP HUSBAND;
Commit;
BrideGroom Male (25),
Bride Female(20) AS
BEGIN
SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = ‘Millionaire’ AND Count(Car) > 10 AND
HouseStatus = ‘ThreeStoreyed’
AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having
Brothers = Null AND Sisters = Null
SELECT Gold, Cash, Car, BankBalance FROM FatherInLaw UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal =
MyBal + FatherInLawBal UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents +
FatherInLawGold INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES (’BMW’) END GO
Then the Bride writes the below query:
DROP HUSBAND;
Commit;
How Software Project Start Programmer to..
How Software Project Start
Programmer to Team Leader: “We can’t do this proposed project. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can’t. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take this type of project.”
Team Leader to Project Manager: “This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don’t have any staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature.”
Project Manager to Director: “This project involves a design change in the system and we don’t have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it.”
Director to Vice President: “This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project, but with caution.”
Vice President to CEO: “This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in-house training in this area to other staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us under any circumstances.”
CEO to Client: “This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this project successfully and well within the given time frame.”
Programmer to Team Leader: “We can’t do this proposed project. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can’t. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take this type of project.”
Team Leader to Project Manager: “This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don’t have any staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature.”
Project Manager to Director: “This project involves a design change in the system and we don’t have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it.”
Director to Vice President: “This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project, but with caution.”
Vice President to CEO: “This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in-house training in this area to other staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us under any circumstances.”
CEO to Client: “This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this project successfully and well within the given time frame.”
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