Doobte hue aadmi ne
Pull par chalte hue aadmi ko
Aawaz lagayi "bachao bachao"
Pull par chalte aadmi ne neeche
Rassi fenki aur kaha aaoo...
Nadi mein dobta hua aadmi
Rassi nahi pakad pa raha tha
Rah rah kar chillaa raha tha
Mein marna nahi chahta
Zindagi badi mehengi hai
Kal hi to meri ek MNC mein naukri lagi hai..
Itna sunte hi pul par chalte
Aadmi ne apni rassi kheench li
Aur bhagte bhagte wo MNC gaya
Usne wahan ke HR ko bataya ki
Abhi abhi ek aadmi doobkar mar gaya hai
Aur is tarah aapki company mein
Ek jagah khali kar gaya hai...
Mein berozgaar hoon muje le lo..
HR boli dost tumne der kar di,
ab se kuch der Pehle humne us aadmi ko lagaya hai
Jo usse dhakka de kar tumse pehle yahan aaya hai !!!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Monday, August 17, 2009
EK CODER KI KHAANI
Aik coder tha deewana sa
coding karne se woh darta tha..
Copy paste karke, idhar udhar se...
pooch ke coding kiya karta tha....
Choree choree........ chupke chupke..........
discussions mein soya karta tha...
Jab shipment jani hotee thee
raat raat bhar jagta tha...
Kuch aata nahee tha usko..
jane kaise deliver karta tha..
Jab bhee milta tha kisee doosre developer se,
unse poocha karta tha...
Coding kaisee hotee hai,..
yeh coding kaisee hotee hai ..............?
Aur voh developers
bas yahee kah paate the.....
"Ankhe khulee ho ya ho band
deedar code ka hota hai...
kaise kahoo mai o yaro yeh code
kaise hota hai.....
tururururururururu ru ru ru ru ru...."
"Kya hai yeh jadoo hai koyee code jo chal jata hai,
fix karke bugs hazaro deliver ho jata hai..."
"Door kahee onsite per hote hai yeh sare faisle,
kaun jane koyee bug kab kaise kaha mile,
jiske naseeb mein ho likha
acceptance useeka hota hai..
coding karne se woh darta tha..
Copy paste karke, idhar udhar se...
pooch ke coding kiya karta tha....
Choree choree........ chupke chupke..........
discussions mein soya karta tha...
Jab shipment jani hotee thee
raat raat bhar jagta tha...
Kuch aata nahee tha usko..
jane kaise deliver karta tha..
Jab bhee milta tha kisee doosre developer se,
unse poocha karta tha...
Coding kaisee hotee hai,..
yeh coding kaisee hotee hai ..............?
Aur voh developers
bas yahee kah paate the.....
"Ankhe khulee ho ya ho band
deedar code ka hota hai...
kaise kahoo mai o yaro yeh code
kaise hota hai.....
tururururururururu ru ru ru ru ru...."
"Kya hai yeh jadoo hai koyee code jo chal jata hai,
fix karke bugs hazaro deliver ho jata hai..."
"Door kahee onsite per hote hai yeh sare faisle,
kaun jane koyee bug kab kaise kaha mile,
jiske naseeb mein ho likha
acceptance useeka hota hai..
Saturday, July 11, 2009
जब मैं छोटा था
जब मैं छोटा था,
शायद दुनिया बहुत बड़ी हुआ करती थी...
मुझे याद है मेरे घर से "स्कूल" तक का वो रास्ता,
क्या क्या नहीं था वहां,
छत के ठेले, जलेबी की दुकान, बर्फ के गोले, सब कुछ,
अब वहां "मोबाइल शॉप", "विडियो पार्लर" हैं, फिर भी सब सूना है....
शायद अब दुनिया सिमट रही है......
जब मैं छोटा था,
शायद शामे बहुत लम्बी हुआ करती थी....
मैं हाथ में पतंग की डोर पकडे, घंटो उडा करता था,
वो लम्बी "साइकिल रेस", वो बचपन के खेल,
वो हर शाम थक के चूर हो जाना,
अब शाम नहीं होती, दिन ढलता है और सीधे रात हो जाती है..........
शायद वक्त सिमट रहा है........
जब मैं छोटा था,
शायद दोस्ती बहुत गहरी हुआ करती थी,
दिन भर वो हुज़ोम बनाकर खेलना,
वो दोस्तों के घर का खाना, वो लड़किया, वो साथ रोना,
अब भी मेरे कई दोस्त हैं, पर दोस्ती जाने कहाँ है,
जब भी "ट्रेफिक सिग्नल" पे मिलते हैं "हाई" करते हैं,
और अपने अपने रास्ते चल देते हैं,
शायद अब रिश्ते बदल रहें हैं.....
शायद दुनिया बहुत बड़ी हुआ करती थी...
मुझे याद है मेरे घर से "स्कूल" तक का वो रास्ता,
क्या क्या नहीं था वहां,
छत के ठेले, जलेबी की दुकान, बर्फ के गोले, सब कुछ,
अब वहां "मोबाइल शॉप", "विडियो पार्लर" हैं, फिर भी सब सूना है....
शायद अब दुनिया सिमट रही है......
जब मैं छोटा था,
शायद शामे बहुत लम्बी हुआ करती थी....
मैं हाथ में पतंग की डोर पकडे, घंटो उडा करता था,
वो लम्बी "साइकिल रेस", वो बचपन के खेल,
वो हर शाम थक के चूर हो जाना,
अब शाम नहीं होती, दिन ढलता है और सीधे रात हो जाती है..........
शायद वक्त सिमट रहा है........
जब मैं छोटा था,
शायद दोस्ती बहुत गहरी हुआ करती थी,
दिन भर वो हुज़ोम बनाकर खेलना,
वो दोस्तों के घर का खाना, वो लड़किया, वो साथ रोना,
अब भी मेरे कई दोस्त हैं, पर दोस्ती जाने कहाँ है,
जब भी "ट्रेफिक सिग्नल" पे मिलते हैं "हाई" करते हैं,
और अपने अपने रास्ते चल देते हैं,
शायद अब रिश्ते बदल रहें हैं.....
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Song for Software Engineer
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
अपने प्रोजेक्ट के बोझ तले दबा जा रहा है.
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
ज़िन्दगी से हरा हुआ है, पर "Bug" से हार नहीं मानता,
अपने "Application" की एक - एक "Line" उसे रटी हुई है,
आज कौन से रंग का मोजा पहना हुआ है, यह नही जनता,
दिन पे दिन एक "Excel" की फाइल बनता जा रहा है.
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
दस हजार line के कोड में "error" दुन्ढ़ leta है,लेकिन
दोस्तों की ankho की नमी उसको देखि नही देती.
"Desktop" पे हजारो "windows" खुली है पर,
दिल की खडिकी पे कोई दस्तक सुनाही नही देती.
Saturday-Sunday को nehata नहीं, वीक्दय्स को नहा रहा है,
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
कोडिंग करते करते पता ही नही चला Bug की प्रिओरिटी कब माँ-बाप से high हो गयी,
किताबो में गुलाब रखने वाला, Cigrate के धुँये में खो गया है,
weekends दारू पीके के जश्न मन रहा है,
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
मज़े लेना हो तो इश्से तो पूछ लो
"salary Increment" की पार्टी कब दिला रहे हो
हंसी उड़ना हो तो पूछ लो,
"onsite" कब जा रहे हू?
वो देखो "onsine" से लौटे "team mate" की chocolates खा रहा है,
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
खर्चे बढ़ रहे है, बाल कम हो रहे है,
KRA की डेट आती नही, Income Tax के सितम हो रहे है,
लो फिर से बस छूट गयी, ऑटो से ऑफिस जा रहा है,
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
Pizza गले से नहीं उतरता, तो coke के सहारे निगल लिया जाता है,
ऑफिस की थाली देख मुँह है बिग्रता
माँ के हाथ का वो खाना बार बार रोज़ याद आता है
"sprout bhel" बनी है फिर भी, फ्री "evening snacks" खा रहा है,
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
आप ने आब तक ली होगी बहुत से chutkiyai
software enggineer के जीवन का सच बताती यह आखरी कुछ पंक्तिया,
हजारो की तन्काह वाला, कंपनी की करोरो की जेब भरता hai,
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
हम लोग जी जी के मरते है, ज़िन्दगी है कुछ ऐसी,
एक फौजी की नौकरी, दूसरी software engg ki, दोनों एक जैसी है,
इश कविता का हेर शब्द दिल की गेअहरई से आ रहा है,
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है
अपने प्रोजेक्ट के बोझ तले दबा जा रहा है.
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
ज़िन्दगी से हरा हुआ है, पर "Bug" से हार नहीं मानता,
अपने "Application" की एक - एक "Line" उसे रटी हुई है,
आज कौन से रंग का मोजा पहना हुआ है, यह नही जनता,
दिन पे दिन एक "Excel" की फाइल बनता जा रहा है.
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
दस हजार line के कोड में "error" दुन्ढ़ leta है,लेकिन
दोस्तों की ankho की नमी उसको देखि नही देती.
"Desktop" पे हजारो "windows" खुली है पर,
दिल की खडिकी पे कोई दस्तक सुनाही नही देती.
Saturday-Sunday को nehata नहीं, वीक्दय्स को नहा रहा है,
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
कोडिंग करते करते पता ही नही चला Bug की प्रिओरिटी कब माँ-बाप से high हो गयी,
किताबो में गुलाब रखने वाला, Cigrate के धुँये में खो गया है,
weekends दारू पीके के जश्न मन रहा है,
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
मज़े लेना हो तो इश्से तो पूछ लो
"salary Increment" की पार्टी कब दिला रहे हो
हंसी उड़ना हो तो पूछ लो,
"onsite" कब जा रहे हू?
वो देखो "onsine" से लौटे "team mate" की chocolates खा रहा है,
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
खर्चे बढ़ रहे है, बाल कम हो रहे है,
KRA की डेट आती नही, Income Tax के सितम हो रहे है,
लो फिर से बस छूट गयी, ऑटो से ऑफिस जा रहा है,
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
Pizza गले से नहीं उतरता, तो coke के सहारे निगल लिया जाता है,
ऑफिस की थाली देख मुँह है बिग्रता
माँ के हाथ का वो खाना बार बार रोज़ याद आता है
"sprout bhel" बनी है फिर भी, फ्री "evening snacks" खा रहा है,
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
आप ने आब तक ली होगी बहुत से chutkiyai
software enggineer के जीवन का सच बताती यह आखरी कुछ पंक्तिया,
हजारो की तन्काह वाला, कंपनी की करोरो की जेब भरता hai,
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है.
हम लोग जी जी के मरते है, ज़िन्दगी है कुछ ऐसी,
एक फौजी की नौकरी, दूसरी software engg ki, दोनों एक जैसी है,
इश कविता का हेर शब्द दिल की गेअहरई से आ रहा है,
वो देखो एक software Engineer जा रहा है
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
PATNI CHALISA
Namo-namo patni maharani,
tumhari mahima koi na jani... || 1 ||
Hamne samjha tum abla ho,
par tumto sabse badi bala ho... || 2 ||
Jis din haath me belana aawe,
Uss din PATI khub chillave.... || 3 ||
Saare bed pe PATNI sove,
PATI baith farsh par rove.... || 4 ||
Tumse hi ghar MATHURA KASI,
aur tumse hi ghar Satyanasi... . || 5 ||
PATNI CHALISA jo nar gave,
sab sukh chhod param dukh paave...... || 6 ||
tumhari mahima koi na jani... || 1 ||
Hamne samjha tum abla ho,
par tumto sabse badi bala ho... || 2 ||
Jis din haath me belana aawe,
Uss din PATI khub chillave.... || 3 ||
Saare bed pe PATNI sove,
PATI baith farsh par rove.... || 4 ||
Tumse hi ghar MATHURA KASI,
aur tumse hi ghar Satyanasi... . || 5 ||
PATNI CHALISA jo nar gave,
sab sukh chhod param dukh paave...... || 6 ||
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Software engineer and his wife
Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.
Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default..
Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.
Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.
Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.
Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.
Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card, I can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - I made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.
Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default..
Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to Reboot.
Wife - what is the relation between you & your Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.
Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - I will go to my dad's house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will Close.
Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.
Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
SHAADI KI DASTAAN
****** SHAADI KI DASTAAN******
abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,
khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,
khushiyaan kuch yoon umad rahin thi,
ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi,
subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana
thoda sharmate hue hume need se jagana,
wo pyaar bhara hath humare ballon main phirana,
muskurate hue kehna ki darling chai to pi lo,
jaldi se ready ho jao, aap ko office bhi hai jana.
gharwali bhagwan ka roop le kar aayi thi,
dil or dimag par poori tarah chai thi,
saans bhi lete thy to naam usi ka hota tha,
ik pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha.
5 saal baad........
subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana,
table par rakh kar jor se chilana,
aaj office jao to munna ko
school chodte hue jana........ ......
ek baar phir wohi awaaj ayi,
kya baat hai abhi tak chodi nahi charpai,
agar munna late ho gaya to dekh lena,
munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal lena.
na jane gharwali kaisa roop le kar aayi thi,
dil aur dimaag par kali ghata chai thi,
sans bhi lete hai to uni ka khayal hota hai,
har samay jehan main ek hi sawal hota hai,
kya kabhi wo din lot ke ayenge,
hum ek bar phir kuwaaren ban payenge.
abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,
khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,
khushiyaan kuch yoon umad rahin thi,
ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi,
subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana
thoda sharmate hue hume need se jagana,
wo pyaar bhara hath humare ballon main phirana,
muskurate hue kehna ki darling chai to pi lo,
jaldi se ready ho jao, aap ko office bhi hai jana.
gharwali bhagwan ka roop le kar aayi thi,
dil or dimag par poori tarah chai thi,
saans bhi lete thy to naam usi ka hota tha,
ik pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha.
5 saal baad........
subah subah madam ka chai le kar aana,
table par rakh kar jor se chilana,
aaj office jao to munna ko
school chodte hue jana........ ......
ek baar phir wohi awaaj ayi,
kya baat hai abhi tak chodi nahi charpai,
agar munna late ho gaya to dekh lena,
munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal lena.
na jane gharwali kaisa roop le kar aayi thi,
dil aur dimaag par kali ghata chai thi,
sans bhi lete hai to uni ka khayal hota hai,
har samay jehan main ek hi sawal hota hai,
kya kabhi wo din lot ke ayenge,
hum ek bar phir kuwaaren ban payenge.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
I am Sorry MOM
I am Sorry MOM.
As I got up today, I felt the smell of fresh Tea. I woke up to see a
Cup of tea with some biscuits kept at my bedside table. This reminded me
Of home. The old school and college days, when mumma used to wake me up by
Serving a steaming cup of tea. The aroma, the taste, so refreshing,
still so fresh in my memories.
A sudden thought hit me, I was in bed, so who prepared
this tea for me? Is it a dream? I pinched myself and that hurts, which
meant I was not dreaming. I walked out of the room with the cup of tea,
in search of my roommate. I asked him whether he prepared that for me, and
the answer was YES.
I was relaxed but somehow my heart wanted him to say NO.
A no because I wanted to be in a belief that my mom prepared it for me. The
whole scene reminded me of mom, and I missed her at that moment. I got
ready for the office and all set to leave.
On my way, I was thinking about those days, when mumma used
to cook my every meal. All her possible ways by which she could stuff her
son. I could not remember any single day when I slept without food.
Maggi, chips, biscuits, all junk food was banned and I always cooked maggi
when I was sure that mom was not around. But now, I no more enjoy cooking
maggi for myself.. Almost everyday I eat it, not because I like it, but
because I am left with no other option at times.
This very thought brought tears to my eyes and I decided to
call up mom. I reached office and gave mom a call. The first thing she
asked was, kya haal hain?. I was speechless. And I thought, how
the time has changed. When I was home with her, she used to nag me by
calling after every hour when I was out with friends. In those days she
never asked me what was wrong, as she knew that it was my habit even if I
got home late and forgot to call. My call at this point of day to her,
Dosent means that I am in trouble but ya I am not fine.
Time has changed, she is still the same, it's me who has changed.
But I continued my conversation saying that I just called
up to ask how she was, and how are things going on with her. And we
continued our conversation. Then suddenly an ice-breaker came when she
asked, Dont you have any work today? I was shocked and asked her why she
asked that, in reply to which she said, it was almost 30 minutes, I have
been talking to her.
I hurriedly ended the conversation saying I have to attend
a meeting. I lied to her and deep down I know, she knows that I lied to her
but what else can I do? The lady with whom I used to have endless
Conversations all ended. I am so occupied with my new life that I forgot to
spend few hours with her.
I roll backed the time and thought of every single day that
I have not spent with her. This made me realize that there was not a single
day when I was busy, busy in a sense to neglect my mom. The lady who gave
her whole life just for me, I could not even give her the time that she
deserved. I remembered how I used to tell her about all my daily happenings
and how I always failed to ask about her day. It left me all in tears. I
missed her and missed her to core.
I was feeling ashamed, because it was a cup of tea that
made me realize her presence in my world.
We all are here, away from our family, living with our friends,
who are our new family. We spend our lunch time with them gossiping about
whats going in and around, weekends, shopping with them and even festivals
as most of us are staying too far from home. And when we call home, we are
in a hurry to hang up as most of are BUSY. Are we really that busy?
Think of the lady whom we have left back at home. She still
misses her son/daughter at the dining table, although most of us enjoy our
meals with our friends and colleagues. She still waits all day just to hear
her son/daughters voice at the end of the day and we, we spend our time on
phone with friends or girlfriend/boyfriend.
Dont even knw how to apologise to her.......
Cup of tea with some biscuits kept at my bedside table. This reminded me
Of home. The old school and college days, when mumma used to wake me up by
Serving a steaming cup of tea. The aroma, the taste, so refreshing,
still so fresh in my memories.
A sudden thought hit me, I was in bed, so who prepared
this tea for me? Is it a dream? I pinched myself and that hurts, which
meant I was not dreaming. I walked out of the room with the cup of tea,
in search of my roommate. I asked him whether he prepared that for me, and
the answer was YES.
I was relaxed but somehow my heart wanted him to say NO.
A no because I wanted to be in a belief that my mom prepared it for me. The
whole scene reminded me of mom, and I missed her at that moment. I got
ready for the office and all set to leave.
On my way, I was thinking about those days, when mumma used
to cook my every meal. All her possible ways by which she could stuff her
son. I could not remember any single day when I slept without food.
Maggi, chips, biscuits, all junk food was banned and I always cooked maggi
when I was sure that mom was not around. But now, I no more enjoy cooking
maggi for myself.. Almost everyday I eat it, not because I like it, but
because I am left with no other option at times.
This very thought brought tears to my eyes and I decided to
call up mom. I reached office and gave mom a call. The first thing she
asked was, kya haal hain?. I was speechless. And I thought, how
the time has changed. When I was home with her, she used to nag me by
calling after every hour when I was out with friends. In those days she
never asked me what was wrong, as she knew that it was my habit even if I
got home late and forgot to call. My call at this point of day to her,
Dosent means that I am in trouble but ya I am not fine.
Time has changed, she is still the same, it's me who has changed.
But I continued my conversation saying that I just called
up to ask how she was, and how are things going on with her. And we
continued our conversation. Then suddenly an ice-breaker came when she
asked, Dont you have any work today? I was shocked and asked her why she
asked that, in reply to which she said, it was almost 30 minutes, I have
been talking to her.
I hurriedly ended the conversation saying I have to attend
a meeting. I lied to her and deep down I know, she knows that I lied to her
but what else can I do? The lady with whom I used to have endless
Conversations all ended. I am so occupied with my new life that I forgot to
spend few hours with her.
I roll backed the time and thought of every single day that
I have not spent with her. This made me realize that there was not a single
day when I was busy, busy in a sense to neglect my mom. The lady who gave
her whole life just for me, I could not even give her the time that she
deserved. I remembered how I used to tell her about all my daily happenings
and how I always failed to ask about her day. It left me all in tears. I
missed her and missed her to core.
I was feeling ashamed, because it was a cup of tea that
made me realize her presence in my world.
We all are here, away from our family, living with our friends,
who are our new family. We spend our lunch time with them gossiping about
whats going in and around, weekends, shopping with them and even festivals
as most of us are staying too far from home. And when we call home, we are
in a hurry to hang up as most of are BUSY. Are we really that busy?
Think of the lady whom we have left back at home. She still
misses her son/daughter at the dining table, although most of us enjoy our
meals with our friends and colleagues. She still waits all day just to hear
her son/daughters voice at the end of the day and we, we spend our time on
phone with friends or girlfriend/boyfriend.
Dont even knw how to apologise to her.......
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
The 32 Most Commonly Misused Words and Phrases
1. Accept/Except- Although these two words sound alike (they’re homophones), they have two completely different meanings. “Accept” means to willingly receive something (accept a present.) “Except” means to exclude something (I’ll take all of the books except the one with the red cover.)
2. Affect/Effect- The way you “affect” someone can have an “effect” on them. “Affect” is usually a verb and “Effect” is a noun.
3. Alright- If you use “alright,” go to the chalkboard and write “Alright is not a word” 100 times.
4. Capital/Capitol- “Capitol” generally refers to an official building. “Capital” can mean the city which serves as a seat of government or money or property owned by a company. “Capital” can also mean “punishable by death.”
5. Complement/Compliment- I often must compliment my wife on how her love for cooking perfectly complements my love for grocery shopping.
6. Comprise/Compose- The article I’m composing comprises 32 parts.
7. Could Of- Of the 32 mistakes on this list, this is the one that bothers me most. It’s “could have” not “could of.” When you hear people talking, they’re saying “could’ve.” Got it?
8. Desert/Dessert- A desert is a hot, dry patch of sand. Dessert, on the other hand, is the sweet, fatty substance you eat at the end of your meal.
9. Discreet/Discrete- We can break people into two discrete (separate) groups, the discreet (secretive) and indiscreet.
10. Emigrate/Immigrate- If I leave this country to move to Europe, the leaving is emigrating and the arriving is immigrating.
11. Elicit/Illicit- Some people post illicit things on message boards to elicit outrageous reactions from others.
12. Farther/Further- Farther is used for physical distance, whereas further means to a greater degree.
13. Fewer/Less- Use fewer when referring to something that can be counted one-by-one. Use less when it’s something that doesn’t lend itself to a simple numeric amount.
14. Flair/Flare- A flair is a talent, while a flare is a burst (of anger, fire, etc.)
15. i.e/e.g- I.e. is used to say “in other words.” E.g. is used in place of “for example.”
16. Inflammable- Don’t let the prefix confuse you, if something is inflammable it can catch on fire.
17. It’s/Its- It’s= it is. Its=a possessive pronoun meaning of it or belonging to. Whatever you do, please don’t use its’.
18. Imply/Infer- A reader infers what an author implies. In other words, when you imply something, you hint at it. When you infer something, you draw a conclusion based on clues.
19. Literally- If you say “His head literally exploded because he was so mad!” then we should see brains splattered on the ceiling.
20. Lose/Loose- If your pants are too loose you may lose them. That would be almost as embarrassing as misusing these two words.
21. Moral/Morale- Morals are something you want to teach your kids. If your team’s morale is low, you need to do something to boost their confidence.
22. Percent/Percentage- The word “percent” should only be used when a specific number is given. “Percentage” is more of a general term.
23. Stationary/Stationery- You are stationary when you aren’t moving. Stationery is something you write on.
24. Then/Than- “Then” is another word for “after.” Incidentally, the word “then” makes for boring writing. “Than” is a comparative word (e.g. I am smarter than you).
25. There/Their/They’re- There are few things as frustrating as when I look at my students’ writing and they’re misusing these words in their writing.
26. Unique- Something can’t be “kind of unique” or even “very unique.” It’s either one-of-a-kind or it isn’t. There is no in between when it comes to unique.
27. Your/You’re- If I had a nickel for every time I saw this one… yeah, you know the rest. “Your” shows ownership and you’re is a contraction meaning “you are.” Get it right.
28. To/Too/Two- Two is a number. “To” is used in instances such as, “I am going to the store.” If you are supposed to use the word “too,” try inserting the word “extra” or “also.” If one of those fits, you need to also add the extra “o” to make “too.”
29. Lie/Lay- After you lay the books on the table, go lie down on the couch.
30. Sit/Set- Set your drink on the table and sit in your chair. Got it?
31. Whose/Who’s- Whose is the possessive form of who. Who’s is a contraction meaning “who is.”
32. Allude/Elude- When someone alludes to something in conversation (indirectly references), if you aren’t paying attention the meaning may elude you (escape you).
2. Affect/Effect- The way you “affect” someone can have an “effect” on them. “Affect” is usually a verb and “Effect” is a noun.
3. Alright- If you use “alright,” go to the chalkboard and write “Alright is not a word” 100 times.
4. Capital/Capitol- “Capitol” generally refers to an official building. “Capital” can mean the city which serves as a seat of government or money or property owned by a company. “Capital” can also mean “punishable by death.”
5. Complement/Compliment- I often must compliment my wife on how her love for cooking perfectly complements my love for grocery shopping.
6. Comprise/Compose- The article I’m composing comprises 32 parts.
7. Could Of- Of the 32 mistakes on this list, this is the one that bothers me most. It’s “could have” not “could of.” When you hear people talking, they’re saying “could’ve.” Got it?
8. Desert/Dessert- A desert is a hot, dry patch of sand. Dessert, on the other hand, is the sweet, fatty substance you eat at the end of your meal.
9. Discreet/Discrete- We can break people into two discrete (separate) groups, the discreet (secretive) and indiscreet.
10. Emigrate/Immigrate- If I leave this country to move to Europe, the leaving is emigrating and the arriving is immigrating.
11. Elicit/Illicit- Some people post illicit things on message boards to elicit outrageous reactions from others.
12. Farther/Further- Farther is used for physical distance, whereas further means to a greater degree.
13. Fewer/Less- Use fewer when referring to something that can be counted one-by-one. Use less when it’s something that doesn’t lend itself to a simple numeric amount.
14. Flair/Flare- A flair is a talent, while a flare is a burst (of anger, fire, etc.)
15. i.e/e.g- I.e. is used to say “in other words.” E.g. is used in place of “for example.”
16. Inflammable- Don’t let the prefix confuse you, if something is inflammable it can catch on fire.
17. It’s/Its- It’s= it is. Its=a possessive pronoun meaning of it or belonging to. Whatever you do, please don’t use its’.
18. Imply/Infer- A reader infers what an author implies. In other words, when you imply something, you hint at it. When you infer something, you draw a conclusion based on clues.
19. Literally- If you say “His head literally exploded because he was so mad!” then we should see brains splattered on the ceiling.
20. Lose/Loose- If your pants are too loose you may lose them. That would be almost as embarrassing as misusing these two words.
21. Moral/Morale- Morals are something you want to teach your kids. If your team’s morale is low, you need to do something to boost their confidence.
22. Percent/Percentage- The word “percent” should only be used when a specific number is given. “Percentage” is more of a general term.
23. Stationary/Stationery- You are stationary when you aren’t moving. Stationery is something you write on.
24. Then/Than- “Then” is another word for “after.” Incidentally, the word “then” makes for boring writing. “Than” is a comparative word (e.g. I am smarter than you).
25. There/Their/They’re- There are few things as frustrating as when I look at my students’ writing and they’re misusing these words in their writing.
26. Unique- Something can’t be “kind of unique” or even “very unique.” It’s either one-of-a-kind or it isn’t. There is no in between when it comes to unique.
27. Your/You’re- If I had a nickel for every time I saw this one… yeah, you know the rest. “Your” shows ownership and you’re is a contraction meaning “you are.” Get it right.
28. To/Too/Two- Two is a number. “To” is used in instances such as, “I am going to the store.” If you are supposed to use the word “too,” try inserting the word “extra” or “also.” If one of those fits, you need to also add the extra “o” to make “too.”
29. Lie/Lay- After you lay the books on the table, go lie down on the couch.
30. Sit/Set- Set your drink on the table and sit in your chair. Got it?
31. Whose/Who’s- Whose is the possessive form of who. Who’s is a contraction meaning “who is.”
32. Allude/Elude- When someone alludes to something in conversation (indirectly references), if you aren’t paying attention the meaning may elude you (escape you).
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Soul Touching poem:------- -------
I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load..
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom
Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?
Hey Friends...
May Be It Will Make People Understand That...
Don't Mix Drinking And Driving... __,_._,
I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
So I drank soda instead.
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.
I know I did the right thing, Mom,
I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.
As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet.
I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load..
As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,
I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.
I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?
My life just burst like a balloon.
There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.
I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.
It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.
He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.
Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.
I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains just like a knife.
The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.
Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven, Mom
Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.
Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter, Mom.
I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.
I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?
Hey Friends...
May Be It Will Make People Understand That...
Don't Mix Drinking And Driving... __,_._,
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Pain of Software Developer
Appraisal के नाम पर एक लम्बी आह भरते हैं,
chaliye ab hum is "dukhad" kahani ki shuruat karte hain,
हमेह्सा की तरह 10 बजे ठुमकते हुए office आया,
11 बजे तक नाश्ता किया और बारह बजे तक mail ही पढ़ पाया ,
हमेशा की तरह आज भी मुझे आलस आ रहा था ,
और मेरा PM मुझे तिरछी निगाहों से देख -देख गुस्सा रहा था,
मैं बड़े concentration के साथ एक "Careful" mail पढ़ रहा था,
तभी देखा मेरे PM ke नाम का नया mail कोने मैं blink कर रहा था,
फिर कोई training attend करनी होगी, ये क्या बकवास है,
क्या reply मैं लिख दूँ की मेरे mailbox का उपवास है?
मैंने आँखें बंद की और 10 bar " Hari-om" bola,
और प्रणाम karate huye मैंने वो मेल खोला,
PM के इस s मेल मैं एक अजीब सा सुकून और भोलापन है,
likha है भाइयों appraisal letters आ गए,अब तो one -to-one hai,
मॅन मैं ऐसे बुरे बुरे ख्याल आ रहे थे ,
ऊपर से कुछ लोग मेरे"de-appraisal" की गन्दी affwah उड़ा रहे थे,
PM को letter लाते देख हर कोई useदेखता जाता है,
जैसे mallika के किसी नए गाने को देखा जाता है,
आखिर वो वक़्त आया,PM ने एक एक kar sabako ander बुलाया,
जो भी अंदर जाता हँसता हुआ जाता,
जो बहार आता,मुरझाया hua aata,
बहार आ कर इंसान संभल भी नहीं पता है,
की "कितना हुआ kitna मीला"हर कोई उसपे टूट जाता है,
किसी एक को appraisal मैं 2000 rupaye मिले थे , मैं उसकी हंसी उड़ा रहा था ,
तभी मैंने देखा मेरा PM इशारे से मुझे अंदर बुला रहा था ,
मैं confidence से उठा और आगे कदम बढाया ,
तभी मेरी belt का buckle टूट के नीकल आया ,
मेरी हालत तो अभी से ही बुरी हो गयी ,
साला इज्ज़त उतरना तो यही से शुरू हो गयी ,
मैं अंदर पहुंचा और PM ने मुझे बिठाया ,
उसने मेरा letter पढा और वो हंसी रोक न पाया ,
वोह इतना हंसा की usse आंसू आ गए ,
क्या मेरे appraisal digits usse इतने भा गए ,
जैसे ही उसने appraisal letter मेरी तरफ बढाया ,
मेरी आँखों के आगे घनघोर अँधेरा छाया ,
मुझे लगा जैसे मेरे dil की दीवार को किसी ने गोबर से पोता है ,
अरे यार "बीस rupaye" ? ये भी कोई increment होता है ?
ये software indusrty है , अखाडा नहीं है ,
ये "SALARY INCREMENT" है , दादर आने -जाने का भाडा नहीं है ,
मेरे चारों तरफ कलि घटा छायी ,तभी मेरे PM की soothing आवाज़ आई ,
तुम सोच रहे होगे के company mgmt का दिमाग फिर गया है ,
पर बेटा हम क्या करें , dollar का bhav 2 rupaye जो gir गया है ,
पर फिर भी मुझे लगता है , ये letter fake है ,
मुझे तो लगता है ये printing mistake है,
तुम HR मैं जाओ ,और ये confirm करके आओ ,
भाई HR मैं जाने के लिए तैयार होना पड़ता है ,
वही तो ऐसी जगह है जहाँ सुंदर लड़कियों से पला पड़ता है ,
shitt!! जहाँ "Renuka " बैठी है , आज वहां बैठा "Aftab" hai,
मैं समझ गया बेटा , आज अपना luck ही ख़राब है ,
उसने मेरा letter खोला ,और खुश हो के बोला ,
वो बोला sir आप के लिए खुशखबरी है ,
आप के letter ने "Printing mistake" पकड़ी है ,
मैंने कहा boss अब देर न लगाएं ,
और मुझे मेरा actual amount बताएं ,
sorry sir ये mistake just by एक्सीडेंट है ,
बीस rupaye नहीं , दो rupaye आप का increment है ,
मैं क्या करूं आप को ये बताते हुए मेरा dil रो रहा है ,
पर क्या करें dollar का भाव भी तो कम हो रहा है ,
मैं बस वहाँ खडा था ,कुछ समझ नहीं आ रहा था ,
मुझसे ज्यादा increment तो security वाला पा रहा था ,
मैंने खुद को संभाला , खुद को उठाया ,
मैं लौटा और सीधे PM के पास आया ,
मैं सीधा उसके केबिन गया और दरवाज़ा खोला ,
इस से पहले की वो बोले , मैं ही उस से बोला ,
sir ये पैसे वापिस ले लीजिये , बात करना फीजूल है,
मैं गरीब हूँ,पर भीख नहीं लेता ये मेरा उसूल है|.
chaliye ab hum is "dukhad" kahani ki shuruat karte hain,
हमेह्सा की तरह 10 बजे ठुमकते हुए office आया,
11 बजे तक नाश्ता किया और बारह बजे तक mail ही पढ़ पाया ,
हमेशा की तरह आज भी मुझे आलस आ रहा था ,
और मेरा PM मुझे तिरछी निगाहों से देख -देख गुस्सा रहा था,
मैं बड़े concentration के साथ एक "Careful" mail पढ़ रहा था,
तभी देखा मेरे PM ke नाम का नया mail कोने मैं blink कर रहा था,
फिर कोई training attend करनी होगी, ये क्या बकवास है,
क्या reply मैं लिख दूँ की मेरे mailbox का उपवास है?
मैंने आँखें बंद की और 10 bar " Hari-om" bola,
और प्रणाम karate huye मैंने वो मेल खोला,
PM के इस s मेल मैं एक अजीब सा सुकून और भोलापन है,
likha है भाइयों appraisal letters आ गए,अब तो one -to-one hai,
मॅन मैं ऐसे बुरे बुरे ख्याल आ रहे थे ,
ऊपर से कुछ लोग मेरे"de-appraisal" की गन्दी affwah उड़ा रहे थे,
PM को letter लाते देख हर कोई useदेखता जाता है,
जैसे mallika के किसी नए गाने को देखा जाता है,
आखिर वो वक़्त आया,PM ने एक एक kar sabako ander बुलाया,
जो भी अंदर जाता हँसता हुआ जाता,
जो बहार आता,मुरझाया hua aata,
बहार आ कर इंसान संभल भी नहीं पता है,
की "कितना हुआ kitna मीला"हर कोई उसपे टूट जाता है,
किसी एक को appraisal मैं 2000 rupaye मिले थे , मैं उसकी हंसी उड़ा रहा था ,
तभी मैंने देखा मेरा PM इशारे से मुझे अंदर बुला रहा था ,
मैं confidence से उठा और आगे कदम बढाया ,
तभी मेरी belt का buckle टूट के नीकल आया ,
मेरी हालत तो अभी से ही बुरी हो गयी ,
साला इज्ज़त उतरना तो यही से शुरू हो गयी ,
मैं अंदर पहुंचा और PM ने मुझे बिठाया ,
उसने मेरा letter पढा और वो हंसी रोक न पाया ,
वोह इतना हंसा की usse आंसू आ गए ,
क्या मेरे appraisal digits usse इतने भा गए ,
जैसे ही उसने appraisal letter मेरी तरफ बढाया ,
मेरी आँखों के आगे घनघोर अँधेरा छाया ,
मुझे लगा जैसे मेरे dil की दीवार को किसी ने गोबर से पोता है ,
अरे यार "बीस rupaye" ? ये भी कोई increment होता है ?
ये software indusrty है , अखाडा नहीं है ,
ये "SALARY INCREMENT" है , दादर आने -जाने का भाडा नहीं है ,
मेरे चारों तरफ कलि घटा छायी ,तभी मेरे PM की soothing आवाज़ आई ,
तुम सोच रहे होगे के company mgmt का दिमाग फिर गया है ,
पर बेटा हम क्या करें , dollar का bhav 2 rupaye जो gir गया है ,
पर फिर भी मुझे लगता है , ये letter fake है ,
मुझे तो लगता है ये printing mistake है,
तुम HR मैं जाओ ,और ये confirm करके आओ ,
भाई HR मैं जाने के लिए तैयार होना पड़ता है ,
वही तो ऐसी जगह है जहाँ सुंदर लड़कियों से पला पड़ता है ,
shitt!! जहाँ "Renuka " बैठी है , आज वहां बैठा "Aftab" hai,
मैं समझ गया बेटा , आज अपना luck ही ख़राब है ,
उसने मेरा letter खोला ,और खुश हो के बोला ,
वो बोला sir आप के लिए खुशखबरी है ,
आप के letter ने "Printing mistake" पकड़ी है ,
मैंने कहा boss अब देर न लगाएं ,
और मुझे मेरा actual amount बताएं ,
sorry sir ये mistake just by एक्सीडेंट है ,
बीस rupaye नहीं , दो rupaye आप का increment है ,
मैं क्या करूं आप को ये बताते हुए मेरा dil रो रहा है ,
पर क्या करें dollar का भाव भी तो कम हो रहा है ,
मैं बस वहाँ खडा था ,कुछ समझ नहीं आ रहा था ,
मुझसे ज्यादा increment तो security वाला पा रहा था ,
मैंने खुद को संभाला , खुद को उठाया ,
मैं लौटा और सीधे PM के पास आया ,
मैं सीधा उसके केबिन गया और दरवाज़ा खोला ,
इस से पहले की वो बोले , मैं ही उस से बोला ,
sir ये पैसे वापिस ले लीजिये , बात करना फीजूल है,
मैं गरीब हूँ,पर भीख नहीं लेता ये मेरा उसूल है|.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Mast Chemistry- Poetic Chemistry !!
Na Ye Chemistry Hoti ,
Na Mein Student Hota
Na Ye Lab Hoti,
Na Ye Accident Hota
Abhi Practical Mein Aaye Nazar Ek Ladki
Sundar Thi Naak Uski Test Tube Jaisi
Baton Mein Uski Glucose Ki Mithas Thi
Sanson Mein Ester Ki Khushbu Bhi Sath Thi
Aankhon Se Jhalakta Tha
Kuch Is Taranh Ka Pyaar
Bin Piye Hi Ho Jata Tha
Alcohol Ka Khumar
Benzene Sa Hota Tha
Uski Presence Ka Ehsas
Andhere Mein Hota Tha
Radium Ka Abhas
Nazrein Mileen, Reaction Hua
Kuch Is Taranh Love Ka Production Hua
Lagne Lage Us Ke Ghar Ke Chakkar Aise
Nucleus Ke Charon Taraf Electron Hon Jaise
Us Din Hamare Test Ka Confirmation Hua
Jab Uske Daddy Se Hamara Introduction Hua
Sun Kar Hamari Baat Woh Aise Uchal Pare
Ignition Tube Mein Jaise Sodium Bharak Uthe
Woh Bole, Hosh Mein Aao, Pahchano Apni Auqat
Iron Mil Nahin Sakta Kabhi Gold Ke Sath
Ye Sun Kar Tuta Hamare Armanon Bhara Beaker
Aur Hum Chup Rahe Benzaldehyde Ka Karwa Ghoont Pi Kar
Ab Us Ki Yaadon Ke Siwa Hamara Kam Chalta Na Tha
Aur Lab Mein Hamare Dil Ke Siva Kuch Aur Jalta
Na Tha
Zindagi Ho Gayee Unsaturated Hydrocarbon Ki Taranh
Aur Hum Phirte Hain Awara Hydrogen Ki Tarhan.
Na Mein Student Hota
Na Ye Lab Hoti,
Na Ye Accident Hota
Abhi Practical Mein Aaye Nazar Ek Ladki
Sundar Thi Naak Uski Test Tube Jaisi
Baton Mein Uski Glucose Ki Mithas Thi
Sanson Mein Ester Ki Khushbu Bhi Sath Thi
Aankhon Se Jhalakta Tha
Kuch Is Taranh Ka Pyaar
Bin Piye Hi Ho Jata Tha
Alcohol Ka Khumar
Benzene Sa Hota Tha
Uski Presence Ka Ehsas
Andhere Mein Hota Tha
Radium Ka Abhas
Nazrein Mileen, Reaction Hua
Kuch Is Taranh Love Ka Production Hua
Lagne Lage Us Ke Ghar Ke Chakkar Aise
Nucleus Ke Charon Taraf Electron Hon Jaise
Us Din Hamare Test Ka Confirmation Hua
Jab Uske Daddy Se Hamara Introduction Hua
Sun Kar Hamari Baat Woh Aise Uchal Pare
Ignition Tube Mein Jaise Sodium Bharak Uthe
Woh Bole, Hosh Mein Aao, Pahchano Apni Auqat
Iron Mil Nahin Sakta Kabhi Gold Ke Sath
Ye Sun Kar Tuta Hamare Armanon Bhara Beaker
Aur Hum Chup Rahe Benzaldehyde Ka Karwa Ghoont Pi Kar
Ab Us Ki Yaadon Ke Siwa Hamara Kam Chalta Na Tha
Aur Lab Mein Hamare Dil Ke Siva Kuch Aur Jalta
Na Tha
Zindagi Ho Gayee Unsaturated Hydrocarbon Ki Taranh
Aur Hum Phirte Hain Awara Hydrogen Ki Tarhan.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Aati kya khandala..!! In different Languages
HINDI
A Kya Bolti Tu ?
A Kya Mai Bolu ?
Sun
Suna
Ati Kya Khandala ?
Kya karu Ake mai Khandala ?
Are Ghumenge, nachenge, gayenge Aish karenge or kya
URDU
AAP KUCH BOLEIN.?
HUM KYA BOLEIN..??
MULAIZA FARMAYEIN…
IRSHAD !! TASHREEF LAYEINGI KHANDALA.?
KYA KAREIN HUM KHANDALA TASHREEF LAAKE..??
ARRE GHOOMEINGE, NAACHEINGE, NAGMEIN SUNAYEINGE, TAFREE KAREINGE OR KYA..!!
ENGLISH:
Aye what do you say?
Aye what should I say??
Listen.
Speak on.
Coming to khandala?
What should I do, coming to khandala?
We'll roam, we'll loaf, we'll sing, we'll dance we"ll freak, baby,what else?
SANSKRIT :
Aye balike, twam katham kathisyasi
Aye balakah aham kim kathisyamh
Shrinvasi!
Shrunha
Kim twam khandaalaa agchasyasi
Aham kim kurwasyami khandaalayeh
gamisyami, bhramisyami, nryuthyami, gaayami, maja
karishma, kim karishyam .......
A Kya Bolti Tu ?
A Kya Mai Bolu ?
Sun
Suna
Ati Kya Khandala ?
Kya karu Ake mai Khandala ?
Are Ghumenge, nachenge, gayenge Aish karenge or kya
URDU
AAP KUCH BOLEIN.?
HUM KYA BOLEIN..??
MULAIZA FARMAYEIN…
IRSHAD !! TASHREEF LAYEINGI KHANDALA.?
KYA KAREIN HUM KHANDALA TASHREEF LAAKE..??
ARRE GHOOMEINGE, NAACHEINGE, NAGMEIN SUNAYEINGE, TAFREE KAREINGE OR KYA..!!
ENGLISH:
Aye what do you say?
Aye what should I say??
Listen.
Speak on.
Coming to khandala?
What should I do, coming to khandala?
We'll roam, we'll loaf, we'll sing, we'll dance we"ll freak, baby,what else?
SANSKRIT :
Aye balike, twam katham kathisyasi
Aye balakah aham kim kathisyamh
Shrinvasi!
Shrunha
Kim twam khandaalaa agchasyasi
Aham kim kurwasyami khandaalayeh
gamisyami, bhramisyami, nryuthyami, gaayami, maja
karishma, kim karishyam .......
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Meri Maa..................................
Dhoop Mein Chaaya Jaise,
Pyaas Mein Dariya Jaise,
Tan Mein Jeevan Jaise,
Man Mein Darpan Jaise,
Haath Duaaon Waale Roshan Kare Ujaale,
Phool Pe Jaise Shabnam, Saans Mein Jaise Sargam,
Prem Ki Moorat Daya Ki Surat ,
Aise Aur Kahaan Hai ,Jaisi Meri Maa Hai...
Jab Bhi Andhera Cha Jaye
Woh Deepak Ban Jaaye ,
Jab Ik Akeli Raat Sataye,
Woh Sapna Ban Jaaye,
Andar Neer Bahaye ,
Baahar Se Muskaye,
Kaaya Woh Paavan Si,Mathura-Vrindavan Jaisi,
Jiske Darshan Mein Ho Bhagwan ,
Aisi Aur Kahaan Hai,Jaisi Meri Maa Hai....
Pyaas Mein Dariya Jaise,
Tan Mein Jeevan Jaise,
Man Mein Darpan Jaise,
Haath Duaaon Waale Roshan Kare Ujaale,
Phool Pe Jaise Shabnam, Saans Mein Jaise Sargam,
Prem Ki Moorat Daya Ki Surat ,
Aise Aur Kahaan Hai ,Jaisi Meri Maa Hai...
Jab Bhi Andhera Cha Jaye
Woh Deepak Ban Jaaye ,
Jab Ik Akeli Raat Sataye,
Woh Sapna Ban Jaaye,
Andar Neer Bahaye ,
Baahar Se Muskaye,
Kaaya Woh Paavan Si,Mathura-Vrindavan Jaisi,
Jiske Darshan Mein Ho Bhagwan ,
Aisi Aur Kahaan Hai,Jaisi Meri Maa Hai....
Monday, May 5, 2008
DON’T MARRY A SOFTWARE GAL Never marry a..
Never marry a “TESTING” girl since she always DOUBTS U .
Never marry a “DATABASE” girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.
Never marry a “C” girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.
Never marry a “C++” girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.
Never marry a “JAVA” girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
Never marry a “VB” girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.
Never marry a “UNIX” girl ,she always dump u with a CORE.
Never marry a “PASCAL” girl ,she always scolds u as RASCAL.
Never marry a “COBOL” girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.
Never marry a “NETWORK” girl since she may be very good in SHOOTING PROBLEMS.
Conclusion: Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY!
Never marry a “DATABASE” girl since she always wants her husband to be a UNIQUE key.
Never marry a “C” girl because she always have a tendency to BREAK the things and EXIT from house.
Never marry a “C++” girl as u may encounter some problems in INHERITANCE.
Never marry a “JAVA” girl since she always throws EXCEPTIONS.
Never marry a “VB” girl since she has divorce FORM with her always.
Never marry a “UNIX” girl ,she always dump u with a CORE.
Never marry a “PASCAL” girl ,she always scolds u as RASCAL.
Never marry a “COBOL” girl since she may be very good in DIVISION of families.
Never marry a “NETWORK” girl since she may be very good in SHOOTING PROBLEMS.
Conclusion: Better marry a girl not belonging to SOFTWARE FAMILY!
Wedding Query….. (SQL Style) CREATE..
CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
BrideGroom Male (25),
Bride Female(20) AS
BEGIN
SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = ‘Millionaire’ AND Count(Car) > 10 AND
HouseStatus = ‘ThreeStoreyed’
AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having
Brothers = Null AND Sisters = Null
SELECT Gold, Cash, Car, BankBalance FROM FatherInLaw UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal =
MyBal + FatherInLawBal UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents +
FatherInLawGold INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES (’BMW’) END GO
Then the Bride writes the below query:
DROP HUSBAND;
Commit;
BrideGroom Male (25),
Bride Female(20) AS
BEGIN
SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = ‘Millionaire’ AND Count(Car) > 10 AND
HouseStatus = ‘ThreeStoreyed’
AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MiBA) AND Having
Brothers = Null AND Sisters = Null
SELECT Gold, Cash, Car, BankBalance FROM FatherInLaw UPDATE MyBankAccout SET MyBal =
MyBal + FatherInLawBal UPDATE MyLocker SET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents +
FatherInLawGold INSERT INTO MyCarShed VALUES (’BMW’) END GO
Then the Bride writes the below query:
DROP HUSBAND;
Commit;
How Software Project Start Programmer to..
How Software Project Start
Programmer to Team Leader: “We can’t do this proposed project. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can’t. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take this type of project.”
Team Leader to Project Manager: “This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don’t have any staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature.”
Project Manager to Director: “This project involves a design change in the system and we don’t have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it.”
Director to Vice President: “This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project, but with caution.”
Vice President to CEO: “This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in-house training in this area to other staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us under any circumstances.”
CEO to Client: “This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this project successfully and well within the given time frame.”
Programmer to Team Leader: “We can’t do this proposed project. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can’t. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take this type of project.”
Team Leader to Project Manager: “This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don’t have any staff who has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature.”
Project Manager to Director: “This project involves a design change in the system and we don’t have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it.”
Director to Vice President: “This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project, but with caution.”
Vice President to CEO: “This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in-house training in this area to other staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us under any circumstances.”
CEO to Client: “This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this project successfully and well within the given time frame.”
Friday, April 25, 2008
Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage - The IT Perspective
Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.
Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.
Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.
Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.
Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!
ज़िंदगी है छोटी, हर पल में ख़ुश रहो...
ज़िंदगी है छोटी, हर पल में ख़ुश रहो...
Office मे ख़ुश रहो, घर में ख़ुश रहो...
आज पनीर नही है दाल में ही ख़ुश रहो...
आज gym जाने का समय नही, दो क़दम चल के ही ख़ुश रहो...
आज दोस्तो का साथ नही, TV देख के ही ख़ुश रहो...
घर जा नही सकते तो फ़ोन कर के ही ख़ुश रहो...
आज कोई नाराज़ है उसके इस अंदाज़ में भी ख़ुश रहो...
जिसे देख नही सकते उसकी आवाज़ में ही ख़ुश रहो...
जिसे पा नही सकते उसकी याद में ही ख़ुश रहो
Laptop ना मिला तो क्या, Desktop में ही ख़ुश रहो...
बीता हुआ कल जा चुका है उसकी मीठी यादें है उनमे ही ख़ुश रहो...
आने वाले पल का पता नही... सपनो में ही ख़ुश रहो...
हसते हसते ये पल बिताएँगे, आज में ही ख़ुश रहो
ज़िंदगी है छोटी, हर पल में ख़ुश रहो
Office मे ख़ुश रहो, घर में ख़ुश रहो...
आज पनीर नही है दाल में ही ख़ुश रहो...
आज gym जाने का समय नही, दो क़दम चल के ही ख़ुश रहो...
आज दोस्तो का साथ नही, TV देख के ही ख़ुश रहो...
घर जा नही सकते तो फ़ोन कर के ही ख़ुश रहो...
आज कोई नाराज़ है उसके इस अंदाज़ में भी ख़ुश रहो...
जिसे देख नही सकते उसकी आवाज़ में ही ख़ुश रहो...
जिसे पा नही सकते उसकी याद में ही ख़ुश रहो
Laptop ना मिला तो क्या, Desktop में ही ख़ुश रहो...
बीता हुआ कल जा चुका है उसकी मीठी यादें है उनमे ही ख़ुश रहो...
आने वाले पल का पता नही... सपनो में ही ख़ुश रहो...
हसते हसते ये पल बिताएँगे, आज में ही ख़ुश रहो
ज़िंदगी है छोटी, हर पल में ख़ुश रहो
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