Love Marriage VS Arranged Marriage - The IT Perspective

Love Marriage: Resembles procedural programming language. We have some set functions like flirting, going to movies together, making long conversations on phone and then try to fit all functions to the candidate we like.
Arranged Marriage: Similar to object oriented programming approach. We first fix the candidate and then try to implement functions on her. The main object is fixed and various functions are added to supplement the main program. The functions can be added or deleted.
Love Marriage: It is a throwaway type of prototype as client requirements rises with time thus it is a dynamic system and difficult to maintain.
Arranged Marriage: Requirements are well defined so use of waterfall model is possible.
Love Marriage: Family system hangs because hardware called parents are not responding.
Arranged Marriage: Compatible with hardware Parents.
Love Marriage: You are the project leader so u are responsible for implementation and execution of PROJECT- married life.
Arranged Marriage: You are a team member under project leader parents so they are responsible for successful execution of project Married life.
Love Marriage: Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc.
Arranged Marriage: All these features are covered in the SRS as required features.
Love Marriage: Acceptance test possible you can try before you Buy.
Arranged Marriage: Product is sold on an as is where is basis. Product once sold will not be taken back!

ज़िंदगी है छोटी, हर पल में ख़ुश रहो...

ज़िंदगी है छोटी, हर पल में ख़ुश रहो...
Office मे ख़ुश रहो, घर में ख़ुश रहो...
आज पनीर नही है दाल में ही ख़ुश रहो...
आज gym जाने का समय नही, दो क़दम चल के ही ख़ुश रहो...
आज दोस्तो का साथ नही, TV देख के ही ख़ुश रहो...
घर जा नही सकते तो फ़ोन कर के ही ख़ुश रहो...
आज कोई नाराज़ है उसके इस अंदाज़ में भी ख़ुश रहो...
जिसे देख नही सकते उसकी आवाज़ में ही ख़ुश रहो...
जिसे पा नही सकते उसकी याद में ही ख़ुश रहो
Laptop ना मिला तो क्या, Desktop में ही ख़ुश रहो...
बीता हुआ कल जा चुका है उसकी मीठी यादें है उनमे ही ख़ुश रहो...
आने वाले पल का पता नही... सपनो में ही ख़ुश रहो...
हसते हसते ये पल बिताएँगे, आज में ही ख़ुश रहो
ज़िंदगी है छोटी, हर पल में ख़ुश रहो

Female Software Programming!

struct female_professionals
{double styles;
short skirts;
long time_to_understand_ problems;float mind;
void knowledge;
char non_co-operative; }


struct married_females
{double weight;
short tempered;
long gossip;
float hopes;
void word;
char unstable;}


struct engaged_females
{double time_on_phone;
short attention_on_ work;
long boast;
float on_cloud_nine;
void understanding;
char edgy;}


struct newly_married_ females
{double dinner_invitation;
short time_at_work;
long lunch_break;
void bank_balance;
char hen_pecked;}


struct husband_wife_ professionals
{double income;
short tempered;
long time_no_see_ each_other;
void love_life;
char money_making; }


struct beautiful_city_ girl
{double boyfriends;
short affairs;
long stories;
void greymatter;
char flirt;}


struct old_lady
{double chin;
short memory;
long sighs ;
void attention_from_ men;
char chatterbox;}

Gone are the Days

When
The school reopened in June,
And we settled in our new desks and
Benches!
When we queued up in book depot,
And got our new books
And notes!
When we wanted two Sundays and no Mondays, yet
Managed to line up daily for the morning prayers.
We learnt writing with
Slates and pencils, and
Progressed To fountain pens and ball pens and then Micro tips!
When we began drawing with crayons and evolved to
Color pencils and finally sketch pens!
When we started calculating
First with tables and then with
Clarke's tables and advanced to
Calculators and computers!
When we chased one another in the
Corridors in Intervals, and returned to the classrooms
Drenched in sweat!
When we had lunch in classrooms, corridors,
Playgrounds,
Under the trees and even in cycle sheds!
When all the colors in the world,
Decorated the campus on the Second Saturdays!
When a single P.T. period in the week's Time Table,
Was awaited more eagerly than the monsoons!
When cricket was played with writing pads as bats,
And Neckties and socks rolled into balls!
When few played
"Kabadi" and "Kho-Kho" in scorching sun,
While others simply played
"Book cricket" in the
Confines of classroom!
Of fights but no conspiracies,
Of Competitions but seldom jealousy!
When we used to
Watch Live Cricket telecast,
In the opposite house in Intervals and Lunch breaks!
When few rushed at 3:45 to
Conquer" window seats in our School bus!
While few others had "Big Fun", "peppermint",
"Kulfi", "milk ice!" and "sharbat!" at 4o Clock!
Gone are the days
Of Sports Day,
And the annual School Day,
And the one-month long
Preparations for them.
Gone are the days
Of the stressful Quarterly,
Half Yearly and Annual Exams, and the most
Enjoyed holidays after them!
Gone are the days
Of tenth and twelfth standards, when
We spent almost the whole year writing revision tests!
We learnt,
We enjoyed,
We played,
We won,
We lost,
We laughed,
We cried,
We fought,
We thought.
With so much fun in them, so many friends,
So much experience, all this and more!
Gone are the days
When we used
To talk for hours with our friends!
Now we don't have time to say a `Hi'!
Gone are the days
When we played games on the road!
Now we
Code on the road with laptop!
Gone are the days
When we saw stars
Shining at Night!
Now we see stars when our code doesn't
Work!
Gone are the days
When we sat to chat with Friends on grounds!
Now we chat in chat rooms.....!
Gone are the days
Where we
studied just to pass!
Now we study to save our job!
Gone are the days
Where we had no money in our pockets and still fun filled on our hearts!!
Now we have the ATM as well as credit card but with an empty heart!!
Gone are the days
Where we shouted on the road!
Now we don't shout even at home
Gone are the days
Where we got lectures from all!
Now we give lectures to all... like the one I'm doing now....!!
Gone are the days
But not the memories, which will be
Lingering in our hearts for ever and ever and
Ever and ever and ever.....
Gone are the Days.... But still there are lot more Days to come in our Life!!
NO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE,
DONT FORGET TO
LIVE THE LIFE THAT STILL
EXISTS......

Tips and Tricks for using SQL SERVER

Tips and Tricks for using SQL SERVER
1.	Store relevant and necessary information in the database instead of application structure or array.
2.	Use normalized tables in the database. Small multiple tables are usually better than one large table.
3.	If you use any enumerated field create look up for it in the database itself to maintain database integrity.
4.	Keep primary key of lesser chars or integer. It is easier to process small width keys.
5.	Store image paths or URLs in database instead of images. It has less overhead.
6.	Use proper database types for the fields. If StartDate is database filed use datetime as datatypes instead of VARCHAR(20).
7	Use Like Clause properly, if you are looking for exact match use '=' instead.
7.	Specify column names instead of using * in SELECT statement.
9.	Write SQL keyword in capital letters for readability purpose.
10.	Using JOIN is better for performance then using sub queries or nested queries.
11.	Use stored procedures. They are faster and help in maintainability as well security of the database.
12.	Use comments for readability as well guidelines for next developer who comes to modify the same code. Proper documentation of application will also aid help too.
13.	Proper indexing will improve the speed of operations in the database.
14	Make sure to test it any of the database programming as well administrative changes.

Friendship and love quotes

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world --Unknown
Love your enemies. It really p***** them off! --Unknown
He who wants to do good knocks at the gate: he who loves finds the door open. --Rabrindranath Tagore
Love is like a butterfly, hold it too tight, it'll crush, hold it too loose, it'll fly --Unknown
The mystery of love is greater than the mystery of death. --Unknown
To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world --Unknown
A simple friend opens a conversation with a full news bulletin on his life.real friend says, What's new with you? --Unknown
A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names. A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book --Unknown
Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say. -Unknown
Everyone is a friend, until they prove otherwise. --Unknown
Gems may be precious, but friends are priceless. --Unknown
If you were somebody else, would you want to be friends with you? --Unknown
The best vitamin for making friends is B-1. --Unknown
We really don't have enemies. It's just that some of our best friends are trying to kill us. --Unknown
He who wants to do good, knocks at the gate; he who loves finds the gates open -- Rabindranath Tagore
Love many, trust few but always paddle your own canoe! --Unknown
The best way to love is to love like you have never been hurt --Anonymous

Newtons Law and love : Rules of love

Universal law: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer from One girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.
First law: A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until on unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy.
Second law:The rate of change of intensity of love of a boy towards a gal is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the gal and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance.
Third law: The force applied while proposing a gal by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals.